Success
--- probably inaccurately attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson
To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty,
to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better,
whether by a healthy child,
a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier
because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.
The above quote, although its true author may not be known, speaks volumes on a person's definition of success in this life. As so many things that we attempt and strive for, we often miss the mark when we aim at the result without paying attention to the details that will produce the result that we desire. I would venture to state that the above quotation not only is a great definition of success - if you can achieve the attributes in the quotation, you most likely will succeed in your personal and professional life.
My last blog spoke of the value of laughter and finding humor in what can sometimes seem mundane or even too serious to be fun. I read earlier today that if we can't laugh at ourselves, we are really placing too high a value on our station in life. We all are human, we all make mistakes, we all have times where we are some of the best humorous material that we have to work with. If you want to lead people, be a cheerful, humor filled person. People will seek your leadership and will want to be around you when you are a pleasant person.
What does winning the respect of intelligent people mean in your life/career? This list serve is a good place to gain respect from intelligent people. Take opportunities not to just lurk, but respond to things. Our organization and profession are filled with some of the most intelligent people I have known. Also, working with physicians, often regarded as highly intelligent, we have to opportunity to teach and learn from some of the most intelligent people we will ever meet. Speak out of your knowledge with honesty, not out of your pride or ego and you will gain enormous respect from your colleagues and employers.
To gain the affection of children should be important to all of us as adults. They are the next generation and the hope for the future. There are so many things in society now that have the potential to prematurely take away the innocence and pureness of our children. The media, internet, peers, and many other things in our culture are taking our children's childhood from them rapidly. Whereever you come in contact with children - as a parent, aunt, uncle, or however, remember, they aren't just little adults. They reason differently than we do, they inherently trust us because we are bigger/older than them, and they look to us for guidance and reason. Treat them with respect, allow them to play and have fun, and throw off your "adultness" and enjoy life as a child does.
None of us want to be criticized, but as mentioned above, we are only human and we will screw up from time to time. Hopefully, you have someone in your life that can give you truthful, meaningful, constructive criticism. A true friend and colleague can disagree and point out those failings in a way that makes it meaningful to you. If you have those friends who fail to call you out when you are wrong, they are really harming your ability to grow. Look for that person in your life who can be the honest critic that you need.
Betrayal of false friends can be something that can sideline us and prohibit us growing professionally and personally. We have all had times where we have been wronged and we can either choose to strike back and get our retribution or we can rise above those who would tear us down. The pessimist states that the light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train, and we sometimes feel that when things are going well for us, that something bad must be around the corner. Remember when you are rising above things, you may become a target of small people. Just don't let their attempts to topple or harm you steer your vision from who you are and what your goals are.
Appreciate beauty in all you encounter and see. Look for the best in people and often they will give you their best. Look past the defects and see the remarkable and the worth in situations and people. Sometimes, as leaders of physicians, we often only hear their negative comments on things and often, that is the type of feedback we give our employees. Again, mistakes happen, very little can be undone, but much can be learned. Seeking the best and the beauty in things can allow things that might seem tragic become turning points and teachable moments in our careers.
At the risk of anyone falling asleep on too long of a topic, I'll stop here on the blog, but look next week for Part II of How Do You Define Success?.