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Finding Your Serve

By Bill Hughes posted 07-06-2011 16:11

  

Comedian Kathleen Madigan tells the story of seeing a homeless guy and giving him five dollars.  Her friend tells her that she shouldn’t do that because the person would just buy beer and cigarettes with the money.  Kathleen replies – What’s the matter, are you afraid he’s going to beat us to the store? 

She brings out a good point.  When we give to others or serve others do we do it because it is the right thing to do, or are we doing it with strings attached?  Being in the health care industry, we have the unique opportunity to care for and help others in ways that other professions do not have.  These chances/choices come up daily and seeking them can make the difference in your life and the lives of others.

We put up many barriers as to why we don’t serve others, but most of them are shallow justifications that prevent us from some of our best opportunities in this life.  Some of the barriers that we put up to serving others are time, resources, apathy and self- centeredness.  I deal with these personally and would like to challenge myself and others to break through these barriers.

We all are given the same amount of time each day.  How we spend that time can either add to or take away from our lives.  Helping others is just like any other commitment or habit that you may have in your life.  Take it on a little at a time – set aside some time each day to seek how to help someone else and build upon it.  You would be surprised just how little time it might take to volunteer for a charity in your area.  Seek those places you can help a little at a time and see how much you will enjoy it.  Most charities would welcome someone who could give them an hour or two a week.  Try to start your day focused on finding opportunities to help someone else.  You don’t have to look far to find many needs if you are attentive.

Resources are a different matter; we all do not have the same material resources.  However, we are each given certain talents or characteristics that can allow us to help in different ways.  $100 doesn’t do much to help the broken hearted, but a compassionate person can do much to enrich that person’s life.  Seek those venues that you can help according to your financial and personal resources.  One of the biggest gifts we give to others is our time and letting them know that they matter.

In my opinion, our society and our prevailing welfare system has produced much apathy toward those in need.  The coercion of taxes collected does not make us “generous” and giving.  Just because we pay taxes does not get us off the hook for helping others.  We get the perception that “there’s help out there if a person needs it”; “I’m paying x.xx% in taxes, that’s doing enough to help”; “why should I help them, I made myself who I am today.”  No matter why the person has the need, get past your own feelings of indifference that have nothing to do with what the person needs.  Let your reason for giving be because it is good to give and a need is there, not because you feel that your donated funds and services might be used in ways that you wouldn’t necessarily approve.

The biggest barrier we have that prevents us from giving to others is self-centeredness.  If we closely examined our daily calendars and checkbooks, how much of the activity is self pleasing and self centered overindulgence?  Are we so involved in our lives that we don’t have time to give time to others?  How much money do we waste on things that do little for us and may even be a bad for us?  How much stuff is enough?  Examine your time spent just in front of a TV each and you can find much time that could be spent differently.  When you go out to eat, be generous with your tipping.  The difference in 15% and 20% tip may be only a dollar to you, but that dollar may mean the world to that single mom or young person who is trying to work and go to school.  I would challenge you the next time you go shopping for clothing, household goods or groceries, estimate what you would normally spend and get 10% more of whatever you are buying.  Do this for a few months and decide where to donate your extra purchases.  You will be amazed at how little it hurts your budget, but just how much you can accumulate for others. 

Decide to help where and when you can.  Helping others is an opportunity that we can find in many places each and every day.  As a byproduct, helping others helps us see that there are many who are much less fortunate that we are and it gives us perspective on our lives and the problems that we encounter.  Also, decide to cheerfully and generously help where you can.  We all could be the ones who might need help at some time or another.

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07-07-2011 13:10

Thanks again Bill for another great article. I think we all get so caught up in every day life as I know I do. Working 10 to 12 hours every day and just trying to relax and do housework and get caught up on the weekends. But we still have to remember that there are people out there that don't have jobs to go to and don't have a home to clean. My husband right now is in the midst of possibly losing his job which could mean that we would most likely have to sell our home and relocate which I have never in my life had to go thru. The prospect of it is a little frightening, but I know that we'll always have a roof over our heads, which is not so for many other people. I remind him every day how lucky we are to have each other, our health, our children and grandchildren and that there are many people who are alot worse than us. So at the end of the day, we are still able to give to others....a lesson well taken.

07-07-2011 09:52

Thanks, Bill. It's very true that most of us are in a position to help others, but do not do so (or at least not as often as we should). The sentiment that has stuck with me through the years is: "We should all give what we can. Money, if we don't have the time."
Volunteering to help someone run errands, get to appointments, or just helping them a bit around the house can mean as little as an hour or two in our lives, but a world of difference for someone who can't do it themselves. Even something as simple as bringing someone to the library can mean the world.
Buying a few additional items each time we go shopping and donating the extras is a painless, easy way to help all kinds of people - from homeless shelters to safe-houses for those fleeing domestic abuse to our deployed troops, there are plenty of opportunities close to all of us to make a difference (not to mention to opportunities to make a difference abroad). Simple things - socks, canned goods, toiletries - are always in demand. If it's easier to give money, try buying gift cards to your local grocery stores or discount retailers - $25 or $30 can literally DOUBLE someone's food budget. Gift cards for gasoline mean someone is able to get to work, or medical appointments, when they might otherwise not be able to (not everyone lives in areas served by public transit). International calling cards help deployed troops stay in touch with their loved ones. That's no more than $1 a day, something most of us would never miss.
There are lots of reasons people aren't able to help themselves, and it's been my experience that those who need the most help, often fall through the cracks of our current system and are unable to get the help from more traditional sources. Rather than assume the circumstances, give people the benefit of the doubt. It's better to try to help, regardless of circumstance, than to leave a fellow soul to suffer, if it's in our power to make a difference.

07-07-2011 09:17

This is nice commentary to begin my day! Thanks! Barbara Smart