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Females, Males and the Workplace

By Dea Robinson posted 02-09-2009 23:42

  
Love that title?  It's kind of scary, but there are two things happening to further my thoughts.  First, it is Valentine's Day this week and can put us in uncomfortable situations whether you are a boy or a girl (so much pressure...so many expectations!).  The other, more serious issue is President Obama just signed into law the Equal Pay Act.  I always chuckle to myself when I prepare the end-of-year salary analysis for the practice and pull out my MGMA Management Compensation Survey and see the line items for gender.  It just cracks me up-what does it matter?  Even if there IS a difference? 

One of my favorite phenomena to study while at work is communication between men and women; female/female communication and male/male communication.  You could say I am a communication junkie (or junk-ee, junquey, etc.).  This is what graduate school does to you-it totally messes with your mind. 

I was speaking with a female physician one day not too long ago and the topic of my communication style came up.  The gender majority in our group is male, where the gender majority in her group was female.  I admitted that my style definitely changes when I address males vs females in the workplace.  Simply stated, I adjust my style if I want to create understanding and buy-in and I would enjoy hearing your comments on this topic because I know some individuals have no adjustment knob available to them that they know of!  And I admitted to this physician that I think my "problem" while having conversation with the predominant female staff of was I am simply used to communicating with guys. 

We can all be on the same team, but read a different playbook with the same outcome.  Agreement on the playbook is what this is all about.  If you haven't picked up the book "What Men Don't Tell Women About Business" by Christopher Flett-I highly recommend it.  President Obama's new law may or may not change anything for any of us in the workplace and as Chris Flett says in the preface of his book, "Alpha Males absolutely put the glass ceiling in place, but it has been the professional woman who has held it there."  I can argue for or against-but I'm staying neutral for the timebeing becaus there is so much more to consider first.

Oh yea, Happy Valentine's Day!

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10-22-2009 09:35

You made an important point about effective communication, first be aware and present with whomever you're talking with. And for me, the active listening tools --- repeat what you think you hear the person saying and get confirmation or explanation -- help greatly. Communication is not a power tool, it can be a community building tool...and listening intently is critical

02-17-2009 12:31

Does anyone else have it all? Sensitive males, ubrupt females and more sensitive females, and all the above baring individual personalities and challenges? I find that I am having to learn individual personalities as deal with staff and physicians and with an ever increasing number thats getting difficult. Sometimes I wonder if there's some benefit to maintaining the same communication style regardless that way I know when I upset someone I didnt even struggle to do it! I really think though that sometimes being the non-confrontational female I am, employee issues are certainly the most stressful part of my job! Even in this economy.

02-10-2009 07:50

I have two males who work in the lab and are the employees of the reference lab. One is quite the "alpha" male and I find myself being challenged by him more. He is always respectful of my position; however, I do feel that he comes from the 1950's mindset that a woman should be submissive to men. He was also in the military and seems to have a certain machismo that one would see with a higher rank. In fact, yesterday, there was a moment where he was bordering on disrespect in front of one of my staff members. I took him aside and asked him, "Is this how you would talk to your commanding officer?". He, a little more humbly, stated "that's different". I asked, "How is that? I am the commanding officer in this practice, I am just not called by that title." He agreed and apologized....though it was evident that he was not happy and his fur was bristling.
Definitely an interesting topic and I am eager to hear others' experiences, as well.

02-10-2009 07:50

I also have two male employees out of thirty. For the most part, men are easier to talk to because I am a more "direct" person (my Chicago upbringing) and that is my preferred method of communication. I find with the female employees, I need to "sugar-coat" my communication....otherwise I risk "hurting feelings". Females seem to be more sensitive; however, I have noticed that the males are likewise sensitive but hide it with their bravado. In working with the males, I can sense when they are more sensitive and try not to trigger their emotional vulnerability. Females, at least in my office, tend to give each other more emotional support with a hug of comfort, a pat on the back, and sometimes a good cry (in private of course).

02-10-2009 07:49

Great insight, Dea! This is something that I have thought about since I have four male and three female physicians and do find myself "changing my communication style". I am known to sit down and talk "with" the female physicians; however, when communicating with the male physicians, I don't spend time "talking". I talk "to" the male physicians, quick, less detail....just bottom line it.